Alright I couldn't help it. I really don't know where to start. The problem lately has been that there hasn't been a problem. Weird isn't it. In the last month and few days, nothing of signifigance has come forth. I've learned from psych class that people go through their high's and low's. I miss that. It's way too boring stuck in the middle. There's nothing to worry about. School hasn't been exciting, and there's nothing to look forward to anywhere. Things are way different than the last few years.

Is there a such thing as too complicated and over elaborate? Totally. One problem I've noticed within myself is that I over think things. Something that should be straightforward isn't. Over creatism and elaborateness takes over. Whether it be a simple problem, or something that's taken months, in the end, I'm always telling myself there could have been an easier and direct way to go. They say the mind is a powerful thing. Those who said were unfortunately correct. Sometimes, simple and clean is the way to go. [11:20-11:45 PM]

Now, the past now comes to mind. From what I can recollect, freshmen year we played basketball every other day, and football every day in between, haha (high). Sadie Hawkins. I offically "beat" out the rest of the guys for number of times in attendance, with a high score of once, haha. I don't think I had any idea what I was doing though.

Sophomore year, now that was interesting. Issues on a few different things, and the whole winter ball drama (suck). Back in those days, it wasn't execute and miss (like it is now) for me... it was no execution at all. It wouldn't turn out the same if I could revisit winter of soph year. The next step was obvious, but it didn't happen. Stupid foot that was stuck. Ecircles.com was interesting. Willy hanging out with upperclassmen instead of us. Rob and I with the charmanders. No one ended up going to wb. What a crazy sophomore year. Everyone seemed to be going through some sort of slump.

Ah the junior year. The beginning of the end of my academic career began on September 29th, 2000, at 12:35 PM or so. Bah. Then we had the whole junior prom (eh) issue, and the batting order to go along with it, haha. Oh man. And then the whole other issue early in the calander year. Haha. Thieves. Tom and his cheerleader rumors. When 2001 school year ended, I swore to myself that the next time I got all crazy over someone, it'd be genuine... not just for the sake of it. Short-term (weeks, < 1 month) and long-term (months on end, at least), is what there is. The short term ones aren't real; they come and go and pass easily. Willy going bike riding out of no where. White versus yellow started. I started actually getting good at badminton (finally). Figured out what I liked to play the most, and it was a good time. What a game, badminton is.

The senior year. The first bit of drama was probably Tom taking Rob and I along to Todai, to resolve a problem he was having there with one of the employees. Applications came and went. Heartache at Target. At least on this occasion it only cost me 2 dollars. One of the worse realizations of my life was that I could have slacked off for four years in high school (suck). All the "hard" work for nothing. Acceptance into sjsu and a free pass into ucr? I think I cried over it. Disneyland was fun, thought some things hindered on it's max fun potential. Badminton was going on. Great year, had some great times. Sitting outside on the bench, talking about and staring at cheerleaders and bball players and track runners as they strolled on by (whoot), or being calmed down after losing a match and keeping me from putting another dent in my racket and a bruise on my knuckle, like the one I got from hitting the wall or the door on the way out. Thanks. Met some awesome people who I've befriended. Despite some early ambivalence on my part, I'm glad I stuck with what I did (yay).

Then came senior ball, code named 6102, aka sb (hmm). Haha, jeez. Let me take this opportunity to bow to everyone. Hope you all enjoyed the show. The whole trade proposal. Will and me sharing the same feeling in the end. Willy chasing me up and down Crestwood (my street), only to end up falling over his own feet. Someone dreamed that I put out a personal book of poems, and that I was giving out autographed copies. Have you people ever seen so many consecutive bagels in that amount of time? The easiest time probably was right after first semester to before the start of the badminton season. Nothing to do. School didn't count, and no obligations in the afternoon. By the time I knew it, it was all over. I didn't get to say good-bye to a lot of people.

Weee. Close-to-present to now. What can I say? Quite the ride. Usually some of it was someone else. Either it was someone spreading rumors about my orientation (jokingly, of couse), or talking some other sort of smack. Or the whole theif/gypper thing. Or someone was preaching when they shouldn't have been. Or someone doing things just to piss me off. I used to be able to blame a large portion on someone else. Not this time, I'm afraid. Getting locked in at Canyon, classic. Helping the ucb (boo) kids move in. Sometime this year I made the jump from Chester's boat to Tom's boat (foolish?). It would have been nice to have a ship next to Captain Yee's. Dang, where did all my money go? Someone once told me that I got whatever I wanted. Haha, how manifestly untrue. Why go to english 1a @ lpc two days a week to learn about satire and irony? I already know what they mean.

So what is do be done now? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's over. Go to school the days I have to, then come home and sit around. Play W3 with the same guys who I've never met in person. A joke once in a while about not finding a sock yet, or if I'm still fond of some older ones. Haha, what comparison. Nothing to look foward to. Nothing to get happy or sad over, anymore. Lackluster is what things are now. Simplicity. Direct. No need for fancy lights or decorations or complication. Remeber guys when I said I just laughed, and once in a long while I'd swear and curse at myself? Remember those days when I was "immune" to a lot of stuff? That doesn't work anymore. Woulda coulda shoulda what if. Garbage. One of the greatest things I've ever been told was that high school wouldn't have been the same without me. I'm touched. Also, something else that I've been told, one of the worst things ever, I'll never believe. Much ado about nothing, is what this probably is. I have to ask an opinion though. Have I really become the better person I think I've become in the last 3-4 months?

Thanks to everyone who helped in remembering all the stuff that happened all those years ago. I probably spent two hours trying to figure what happened and when. [12:00 AM - now, + 1 hour lost due to falling back]

Meowth. Picture two. If you know me, you'll know the symbolism here. If you don't, feel free to ask. [2:55 AM]

DailoTon (1:31:50 AM): obviously my hippocampus and working memory is better then yours
Ooh, psych terms.
TomEboy04 (1:09:37 AM): the captain provides
Haha yep. (remember the one hour falling back)