Shitload of quotes because I haven't had a real post in about six weeks. Here you go.

[02:36] and accidentally letting her push her chest into my arm when she leaned in to talk to me
-[02:37] while u leaned in as well?
[02:37] of course :D
[02:37] bwhaha
[02:37] close the gap
-[02:37] "what's that? i cant hear you... hold on..."
[02:37] hold on as i make cupping motions with my hands

[05:47] since we're friendsters now, and my friend team played saying "i'll give you each other's IM screennames"
[05:48] so i'll wait for her to IM me
[05:48] i usually don't like to IM a girl first

[05:49] everyone has their roles
[05:49] i'm not really a starter, i'm more of a middle man, long reliever haha
[05:50] occassionally i won't mind closing

[08:33] she is popular as heck
[08:34] but none of your friends are banging her?
[08:34] she's easier than math

[08:36] if her glove fits, then you must hit
-[08:37] if it's in the butt, don't fear to nut

[22:50] i was at starbucks this morning
[22:50] and this hot girl comes in and sits down next to me
[22:50] and she's there to study
[22:51] i see her pull out a textbook and notebook paper
[22:51] and then after a little while of looking at her i look at the book and there's like a picture of george washington in there
[22:51] i guess she was a little young
[22:51] hahahaha

hippo tardimus (12:05:13 AM): this just came to me
hippo tardimus (12:05:17 AM): you are pretty americanized
hippo tardimus (12:05:23 AM): but you are living the life of a fob
hippo tardimus (12:05:23 AM): hahahaha
hippo tardimus (12:05:34 AM): except the fob goes to law school or med school

(12:32:54 AM): was that a team "ok" or something
(12:32:56 AM): you talked to her
(12:33:00 AM): you dont talk to fobs usually
StrikeoutK (12:33:01 AM): you know me
StrikeoutK (12:33:03 AM): i'm an assho like that

(12:45:54 AM): dude i wanan see which a team you're going for
StrikeoutK (12:46:02 AM): with i am going for
StrikeoutK (12:46:04 AM): neg
(12:46:12 AM): pimples on forehead?
StrikeoutK (12:46:13 AM): no
(12:46:17 AM): back?
StrikeoutK (12:46:17 AM): i told you
StrikeoutK (12:46:19 AM): i'm an assho
(12:46:25 AM): can you see yourself while you're lookin at her forehead?
StrikeoutK (12:46:28 AM): no
(12:46:41 AM): what are you thinking
StrikeoutK (12:46:49 AM): nothing
StrikeoutK (12:47:01 AM): i was staring at the light skinned mexican instead

hippo tardimus (2:09:11 AM): with the heroin chic
StrikeoutK (2:09:14 AM): she's been legal for 4 years if this is hawaii
hippo tardimus (2:09:25 AM): was that after she was in the motley crue video?

Chanman 007 (3:41:06 PM): you never seem to amaze me
Chanman 007 (3:41:13 PM): never fail to amaze me i mean

StrikeoutK (7:53:09 PM): with using one a team to bag on another one

SLObearsi (12:37:26 AM): i gotta kick it with her sometime
StrikeoutK (12:37:37 AM): you mean you gotta hit her up sometime

SLObearsi (12:55:43 AM): or, u can wear sunglasses that are painted white
SLObearsi (12:55:51 AM): so u see everything white
StrikeoutK (12:55:52 AM): LOL
StrikeoutK (12:56:05 AM): i'd still see all the a teams and their a cups
SLObearsi (12:56:33 AM): see and feel are two different things my son
StrikeoutK (12:56:42 AM): i guess
SLObearsi (12:56:49 AM): no guess!
SLObearsi (12:57:02 AM): they feel like, soft petals under the morning dew
SLObearsi (12:57:03 AM): haha
StrikeoutK (12:57:06 AM): but i can't get a boner from seeing too small of breasteses
SLObearsi (12:57:44 AM): haha how bout a nice ass?
SLObearsi (12:57:51 AM): that sure gets me
StrikeoutK (12:57:55 AM): probably

(3:27:30 PM): Looking For: Friendship
Dating
Random play
Interested In: Men
Relationship Status: In an Open Relationship
StrikeoutK (3:32:20 PM): weeeeeeeee
StrikeoutK (3:32:27 PM): RANDOM PLAY AHAHA
(3:33:08 PM): use a pillow and it's all the same
StrikeoutK (3:33:14 PM): oh... OH

ShrimpSiumai (7:52:57 PM): C team with an A team chest
ShrimpSiumai (7:52:59 PM): HAHAHAH
StrikeoutK (7:53:04 PM): bwhahaha
StrikeoutK (7:53:06 PM): thats worse
StrikeoutK (7:53:14 PM): than a team with c team chest

(2:48:27 AM): thanks jerry
(2:48:30 AM): haha i needed that inspiration

DasButh228 (3:04:46 AM): now stfu
StrikeoutK (3:04:50 AM): thx
StrikeoutK (3:04:51 AM): xoxoxo

[21:29] and you missed it cause you blocked him
-[21:29] i don't play for that team anymore

StrikeoutK (4:50:31 PM): whose gonna raise future tardos?
(4:50:40 PM): god willing there won't be any
(5:02:57 PM): there are way too many stupid people in this world for me to want to have kids
(5:03:09 PM): but you never know when you're gonna have an accident when going bareback
(5:03:10 PM): hahahaha
(5:03:16 PM): that's the only thing i see happening
StrikeoutK (5:03:20 PM): lol accident
(5:03:30 PM): maybe i should just have a vasectomy now

StrikeoutK (11:57:06 PM): and too many chinamen
StrikeoutK (11:57:07 PM): and viets
StrikeoutK (11:57:09 PM): and koreans
StrikeoutK (11:57:12 PM): and flips
StrikeoutK (11:57:20 PM): and too many of those are fobulous

[01:06] she was a slut at stanfurd
[01:06] my friend's friend was roommates with her
[01:06] she hooked up with tons of guys

[02:32] usually more white trashy girls
[02:32] unless the girl is going on a date or something

hippo tardimus (3:17:53 AM): hopefully i don't die early
hippo tardimus (3:18:05 AM): i am starting to think i might get killed by a shark
hippo tardimus (3:18:07 AM): or just drown
hippo tardimus (3:18:08 AM): hahahah
hippo tardimus (3:18:11 AM): f me

[02:26] fucking bitches
[02:27] they're all the same
[02:27] same bitch many faces

StrikeoutK (10:00:52 PM): i must ask the obvious question
StrikeoutK (10:00:58 PM): do you know what that question is?
(10:04:08 PM): girls?
StrikeoutK (10:04:15 PM): you have passed
StrikeoutK (10:04:21 PM): good stuff?
(10:04:40 PM): uh, not so much
(10:04:43 PM): i can find flaws
StrikeoutK (10:04:49 PM): heheheh it's ok
StrikeoutK (10:04:51 PM): they have friends

[22:39] What's the difference between a skinny girl and a counterfeit dollar bill?
[22:39] A counterfeit dollar bill is a phony buck.

[16:42] only love i have are for A cup chinese girls

[18:00] she has no time for herself?
[18:01] as in not bzzzt bzzzzt time?

StrikeoutK (1:04:17 AM): why would you think i use grades to compare girls
StrikeoutK (1:04:27 AM): do i look like willy

(1:52:13 AM): today at school, hottest chick in the lunch area
StrikeoutK (1:52:20 AM): weeeeeee that is good to know
(1:52:32 AM): freakin tan ass legs in a miniskirt
(1:52:34 AM): GOD DAMN SON
(1:52:42 AM): BUT
(1:52:48 AM): she ordered her food and they called her name
(1:52:57 AM): it is nancy
(1:53:02 AM): that is my mom's name
StrikeoutK (1:53:05 AM): LOL BWAHHHAHAHA
StrikeoutK (1:53:07 AM): pwnt
(1:53:09 AM): rofl no good there
(1:53:17 AM): FUCK THE WORLD

StrikeoutK (1:54:29 AM): the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
DasButh228 (1:54:53 AM): i read that in a fortune cookie at panda express

StrikeoutK (1:58:19 AM): my school is 40 percent chinks chongs gooks japs and ding dongs
DasButh228 (1:58:27 AM): LOL oppress your own people
DasButh228 (1:58:33 AM): GG
StrikeoutK (1:58:45 AM): throw in the dirty flips and vc's and the rest of the pacific islands
StrikeoutK (1:58:54 AM): and it's over

StrikeoutK (1:59:49 AM): blondes aren't my number one thing
DasButh228 (2:00:02 AM): but blonde means not asian
DasButh228 (2:00:13 AM): and i think that is what you're after

(2:20:54 AM): she is only good for two things
(2:20:57 AM): actually 3
(2:21:03 AM): 1.oral
(2:21:06 AM): 2.regular
(2:21:07 AM): 3.anal
StrikeoutK (2:21:16 AM): she may be virgin
(2:21:19 AM): good
StrikeoutK (2:21:23 AM): which would make 2 unpleasant the first time
(2:21:32 AM): ill break her in
StrikeoutK (2:21:34 AM): and she might not wipe her ass properly
StrikeoutK (2:21:38 AM): so 3 may be dirty
(2:21:48 AM): nah, shes a clean girl
(2:21:57 AM): and id make her tan for 4 hours a day

StrikeoutK (10:44:29 PM): she would be, if one were friends with, what is known as a good branch

StrikeoutK (3:54:54 AM): BWAHHAHAHAHA
StrikeoutK (3:54:57 AM): look at hobbie number one
StrikeoutK (3:54:58 AM): LOL
StrikeoutK (3:55:06 AM): you better delete her off your friendster
(3:55:25 AM): <foward> nchan007@yahoo.com

hippo tardimus (9:36:35 PM): you have so much to learn
hippo tardimus (9:36:44 PM): and so little brain capacity

chick (9:48:31 PM): yeah, at least be someone respectable ur first time
chick (9:48:33 PM): then after that u can whore urself out
chick (9:48:37 PM): that is my theory
StrikeoutK (9:48:43 PM): that works for me

(2:04:04 AM): we kept pretending we forgot her name
(2:04:12 AM): and we'd keep introducing ourselves to her
StrikeoutK (2:04:12 AM): haha and that works?
(2:05:24 AM): hahaha we need to make them feel as small as possible

[03:18] heh so this girl i thought was kinda cute last night, turns out she's my friend's sister
[03:18] i had no idea
[03:18] not my fault

(6:28:28 PM): but i guess the bitch was gonna stick a big ass dildo in her pussy and do hella shit

StrikeoutK (11:35:42 PM): she said she was 18
StrikeoutK (11:35:50 PM): i swear

twinklynsmilez (3:00:02 AM): but really, you'll just visit all the lil girl freshies and HOLLA.
twinklynsmilez (3:00:30 AM): :-)
StrikeoutK (3:00:32 AM): i swear she said she was 18
twinklynsmilez (3:00:51 AM): haha friggin pedifile
StrikeoutK (3:00:43 AM): aren't YOU a girl freshe :|
twinklynsmilez (3:01:08 AM): hahaha, yea. but i'm way outa your league

[03:26] i've always thought she's stuck out a bit more than the next girl in that area
[03:26] BUT NOBODY BELIEVED ME
[03:26] PUAHHAHAHAHA
[03:26] eat my shorts

[03:02] i'm only 5 percent of the time gay

(2:27:37 AM): she was white
(2:27:45 AM): so naturally her noobars were already the size of a team our age

[17:38] i had the stop sign at a T intersection
[17:38] and there were these two high school aged girls dressed in gym wear like 100 feet away, walking closer
[17:38] i was going to just stop there and wait for them to walk in front
[17:38] but cars started lining up behind me hahaha
[17:39] so i setttled for a 90 degree head turn and getting caught

StrikeoutK (3:03:26 AM): don't lower your standards on my account
(3:04:06 AM): hahaha, believe me, guys like you are the reasons why i have standards.
StrikeoutK (3:04:34 AM): that's my reputation you speak of
(3:05:29 AM): haha based on your reputation, if i were you, i'd rather not have one

(9:23:33 PM): but yea...not our fav choice
-(9:23:42 PM): its ok, she's got tits and ass
-(9:23:50 PM): that is all that matters
(9:24:15 PM): we were thinking lets make this a costume party
(9:24:26 PM): everyone has to wear a paper bag
-(9:24:32 PM): LOL
-(9:24:34 PM): including her?
(9:24:42 PM): yea

DasButh228 (11:07:24 PM): damn dude you need a white gf
StrikeoutK (11:08:00 PM): hahaha thank you for stating the obvious
DasButh228 (11:08:13 PM): no problem

DasButh228 (11:28:41 PM): no sir
DasButh228 (11:29:07 PM): she is hot
StrikeoutK (11:29:11 PM): uh you are a white man

(2:25:09 PM): she was the one with the nice ass that i was hanging out with the other night
(2:25:26 PM): but her bf was there
(2:25:31 PM): they slept in the bed
StrikeoutK (2:25:32 PM): boo we dont like that

SLObearsi (11:42:26 PM): i see her at every party i go to
StrikeoutK (11:42:31 PM): great!
StrikeoutK (11:42:36 PM): so she's not a lamer

SLObearsi (11:42:45 PM): she takes shots like the best of em
SLObearsi (11:42:55 PM): i just like it cuz shes got that innocent look
StrikeoutK (11:43:20 PM): hehehe LOL
StrikeoutK (11:43:28 PM): you like to ravage the innocent ones
SLObearsi (11:43:36 PM): hahah yes i do

hippo tardimus (12:25:46 AM): today the surfer chicks were in full effect
hippo tardimus (12:25:58 AM): you would have gone wild

SLObearsi (3:37:04 PM): i just love hearing girls say "i love stroking ur unicorn"

(11:31:58 PM): during my first few days of living here, i jacked off in the shower
(11:32:03 PM): and it got clogged
(11:32:07 PM): so we had to draino it

TomEboy04 (11:34:34 PM): no trying to put hands down a girls pants
StrikeoutK (11:34:39 PM): ok
TomEboy04 (11:34:42 PM): unless she is putting it there for you
StrikeoutK (11:34:49 PM): what if she tells me to
StrikeoutK (11:34:54 PM): is that ok
TomEboy04 (11:34:58 PM): then that isn't my problem

StrikeoutK (11:48:56 PM): i detoured half across campus just to look hahaha
StrikeoutK (11:49:10 PM): just cuz she was 5'9" and brunette!

(1:04:43 AM): its ok to think for yourself
(1:04:58 AM): and people don't look smart when they walk around saying things like
(1:05:00 AM): i hate bush
(1:05:09 AM): or bush is an idiot

[11:47] Aces dont hang around people too long
[11:47] when you get them, you can't smother them...or else they'll leave
[11:48] they are fucking sluts

ShrimpSiumai (9:10:03 PM): you 2 would match
ShrimpSiumai (9:10:09 PM): she's always 30 mins late to everything

DasButh228 (5:27:18 PM): stupid liberal
StrikeoutK (5:27:23 PM): hahaha they need to calm down
DasButh228 (5:27:33 PM): haha i know man
DasButh228 (5:27:44 PM): its not the end of world here (but they are crazy enough to think it is)
DasButh228 (5:28:01 PM): he won the election, get over it and move on with your life

[19:47] Why is anal sex better than regular sex?
[19:48] 1: It's warm 2: It's tight and 3: It's more degrading to women

(11:16:44 PM): i got some pictures i took myself!
(11:17:01 PM): this was on friday
StrikeoutK (11:17:09 PM): dude you are stalking her
StrikeoutK (11:17:16 PM): you pass my test
StrikeoutK (11:17:20 PM): i congratulate you

StrikeoutK (11:25:14 PM): volleyball chicks are so hot when they're not of the chunky variety

hippo tardimus (11:25:51 PM): one guy had a sign last time that said will you marry me
hippo tardimus (11:26:08 PM): i should get i sign that says forget marriage have sex with me

DasButh228 (1:31:48 AM): haha what a dumb broad
DasButh228 (1:31:59 AM): tell her to keep her mouth shut and keep her legs spread

Oh K Luser (1:58:20 AM): i havedrunk
Oh K Luser (1:58:20 AM): drank
Oh K Luser (1:58:22 AM): drinken
Oh K Luser (1:58:25 AM): somethin

StrikeoutK (12:15:02 AM): what is with the white man's desire of the asian chick
DasButh228 (12:15:26 AM): ummm, we like all hot chicks
DasButh228 (12:15:31 AM): and they have light skin
DasButh228 (12:15:45 AM): so it seems more pure perhaps?
DasButh228 (12:15:47 AM): i dunno
StrikeoutK (12:15:59 AM): how come you folk only go for the white washed or cute ones
StrikeoutK (12:16:08 AM): never the nerds
DasButh228 (12:16:36 AM): does anyone go for nerds in general?
StrikeoutK (12:16:49 AM): haha yes
StrikeoutK (12:17:08 AM): continue
DasButh228 (12:17:29 AM): asian girls are just beautiful
DasButh228 (12:17:45 AM): and you dont really even see fat ones
DasButh228 (12:17:49 AM): nice slim bodies
StrikeoutK (12:18:34 AM): i see
DasButh228 (12:18:44 AM): and exotic looking
DasButh228 (12:18:49 AM): elegant as well
StrikeoutK (12:19:23 AM): veo, veo
DasButh228 (12:19:37 AM): you done?
DasButh228 (12:19:55 AM): what is with the asian man's desire of white women?
StrikeoutK (12:22:47 AM): LOL haha i do not know
StrikeoutK (12:23:01 AM): the c cups i guess?

StrikeoutK(11:47:47 PM): i tend to question a chick's choice in another fellow guy
StrikeoutK(11:47:59 PM): when that guy isn't a friend or someone i know well
(11:48:47 PM): hahaha it is because you want to fuck her
(11:49:13 PM): and since you don't know the guy
(11:49:21 PM): you think you must be better fuck material when in fact you are not

(11:51:54 PM): women are fucking odd
(11:52:06 PM): accept that they will never be understood
(11:52:14 PM): their decisions have no basis in logic or science
StrikeoutK (11:52:26 PM): damn them all
(11:52:27 PM): not unlike bible beaters
(11:52:50 PM): that's why all male bible beaters are in the closet fags

(11:56:52 PM): no white girl in her right mind is going to want your asian penis
StrikeoutK (11:57:02 PM): SHIT ON YOU TO HELL
StrikeoutK (11:57:05 PM): GOD DAMN YOU

(11:58:52 PM): how many hot whities have you seen with chongs
StrikeoutK (11:59:24 PM): maybe 1/10 couples?
StrikeoutK (11:59:48 PM): so 9/10 are chong chong
(12:00:19 AM): and 1/10 is chong-fatgirl

corinny o (12:20:43 AM): keep dinging ur dong cuz no one comin

[18:16] some girl thought i was korean :|
-[18:17] you should have been honored to be mistaken for one of the great race
--[18:18] yeah, and then hooked up with her
-[18:18] you could even beat her and she wouldn't think its out of the ordinary :P

[18:56] girls that are like AA just wear sports bras or a wife beater underneath heh
-[18:58] that is unfortunate
[18:58] cause there's no point for support
--[18:58] haha the bouncing doesn't hurt

(12:53:57 AM): so we did it one time and i cummed in her (with a condom on of course)
(12:54:11 AM): and like there was a white liquid on the outside of the condom
(12:54:25 AM): and she totally freaked out thinking the condom broke or something
(12:54:43 AM): like she was pratically hysterical
(12:55:04 AM): but it wasnt my cum, it was hers
StrikeoutK (12:55:05 AM): it was her own jizz
StrikeoutK (12:55:06 AM): BWAHAHAHA I KNEW IT
(12:55:22 AM): but her reaction forced me to cut it off

hippo tardimus (12:07:58 AM): you need to start in the minors before you try to hit homers
StrikeoutK (12:08:13 AM): fuck no
StrikeoutK (12:08:21 AM): i come in off the bench to get the big hits

StrikeoutK (1:06:49 AM): she's going to be no fun at all in college
StrikeoutK (1:07:05 AM): that means guys are going to have to get her the old fashion way
DasButh228 (1:07:08 AM): her potential partying days are long gone
StrikeoutK (1:07:12 AM): smooth talk and being charming
DasButh228 (1:07:19 AM): weaaaaak
StrikeoutK (1:07:19 AM): shit on all of us

DasButh228 (1:13:41 AM): german tower of power to the rescue!

[01:11] ok it comes down to i think i'm better and i'd rather be boinking her
[01:11] i am a bad person
[01:14] this was not a good use of your wisdom
-[01:14] haha hmm
-[01:15] so then my first statement stands correct
-[01:15] you only care cause you want to hook it up with her

[01:29] like *****, she's just a friend, so when she talks about guys, haha, i don't care
[01:30] meaning, i just say, great! good luck with this one!

StrikeoutK (2:35:28 AM): she's not that race
ShrimpSiumai (2:35:30 AM): SJSU my friend
StrikeoutK (2:35:34 AM): where are ppl her race
ShrimpSiumai (2:35:34 AM): she doesn't have white friends
StrikeoutK (2:35:35 AM): shit WTF
ShrimpSiumai (2:35:36 AM): or even mexicans
ShrimpSiumai (2:35:37 AM): hahha
StrikeoutK (2:35:44 AM): SHIT ON US AND SJSU

[17:56] i was sitting in traffic
[17:57] red light, checking out the woman next to me
[17:57] so as im looking, i glance into the backseat and see a car seat
-[18:42] should have went for her
-[18:42] she obviously puts out
--[18:49] hahah yea maybe she'll let you suckle

flaureea (9:19:43 PM): stop being a baby

corinny o (1:13:37 AM): kinda of like how some guys are..talk about hot people and how u'd so hit that..but then when it comes to people you may actually have genuine feelings for, the story changes

StrikeoutK (1:16:21 AM): who i say i'd hit it and who i may have feelings for are generally way different
StrikeoutK (1:16:21 AM): haha shit on me
corinny o (1:17:52 AM): and if you're lucky, you will end up with someone who falls into both categories

StrikeoutK (4:09:02 AM): i really do believe i'm naturally more inclined than average minds
DasButh228 (4:09:09 AM): as do i

[23:13] i think she's hot
[23:15] but she's too weird
-[23:21] how so
-[23:21] she doesnt give head?
--[23:30] i'm down with weird
[23:30] haha she swallows but she's too 'alternative'

ShrimpSiumai (12:08:20 AM): i know you're talented with a team
ShrimpSiumai (12:08:25 AM): that is why i'm letting you have them
StrikeoutK (12:08:29 AM): i can't not admit that one

StrikeoutK (3:55:38 PM): does she take off the santa suit
Wai108 (3:55:57 PM): not that i'm aware of
Wai108 (3:56:00 PM): and she's like uh 30

(5:32:13 PM): we're waitng for this vibrator to come in
StrikeoutK (5:32:24 PM): LOL
(5:32:25 PM): its been like a week and a half
(5:32:30 PM): its for her bday
StrikeoutK (5:32:31 PM): WHAT KIND IS IT
(5:32:37 PM): is the butterfly?
(5:32:40 PM): no rabbit
StrikeoutK (5:32:42 PM): HAHAHAHA
(5:32:44 PM): its a rabbit
StrikeoutK (5:32:48 PM): rabbit is dope man

[14:21] my dog will pet you in the ass with his teeth
[14:21] repeatedly
-[14:21] circular motion please

[15:29] i dont remember her
[15:30] must have been ugly/nerd before?

This took about an hour to compile.